Job Concerns

I’m a freshman in college who has been lucky enough to land an office job in the administration office at my school. That’s all fine and dandy, especially since it’ll give me experience that not many can claim. However, over the last few months, I’ve been taking steps to begin my transition (such as preparing to move out, scheduling appointments with doctors to get a script for testosterone, etc) and as I’ve been doing this, one of the biggest things looming over my head is: “how will I come out at work”. 

I go to an LGBT friendly/inclusive school that actually has trans*-inclusive healthcare so I imagine they cannot discriminate against me tremendously. However, the thought of what will be said behind my back, the looks I’ll get when I’m able to use the men’s restroom, etc. may be more anxiety-inducing than blatant discrimination. I know this is something almost all transgender individuals must go through, but it’s seriously deterring me from staying at this job and possibly transitioning (for now). However, I don’t have retail experience/experience in job areas where there are trans-friendly companies. I’ve only ever had office experience and am going for a degree in the sciences (which won’t be applicable until I graduate) so I’m lost. I’m seriously considering applying for many jobs and only leaving when I have secured another position. However, if I transition in the next job and lose it, I’ll be unemployed with a phone bill, rent/bills, and a possible car note (depending on my rent). Logically, it’d make sense to stay and transition, but anxiety is eating me alive. 

I’d love some advice/tips from those of you who have transitioned in the work place. I realistically may cut my hours next semester and pick up a night job where I can transition without much fuss. If I decide to take a semester off/drop out of college, this current job will be history anyway as I will not be a student anymore. It’s a lot of stuff that’s just up in the air, but the job situation is the most bothersome at the moment as it’ll affect my income and ability to continue on with life. 

 

This is just a little snippet of what’s been on my mind. I’ll probably post another post up in a few minutes in a more upbeat tone. If you wish to contact me, feel free to comment or email me at the email below. Thanks for reading!

Email: JCollins1594@gmail.com

Advertisements

End The Dysphoria: Changing Genders

I’m quite active on Tumblr, and I’ve seen a few posts in response to an anonymous question. The question was basically asking this: “If you could take a pill to get rid of dysphoria and make your mind align with your body, would you?”. Of course, many said without a doubt “yes”, that they would take that pill so that they wouldn’t have to transition or deal with dysphoria. I’ve given this question thought in passing from time to time and have wondered what I’d do in that situation. The conclusion I’ve come to is no, I wouldn’t take the pill.

The reason behind this is simple: I cannot see myself living as a female. It sound ridiculous when my mind and body would align, and it has nothing to do with gender roles as I’ve always been one to break them (in terms of stereotypical females). I honestly cannot picture myself in a female role (whether it be that of a butch lesbian or a feminine female) no matter what type of pill I took. I know I’d be more happy with my genitalia, but I honestly think I was meant to take this journey. Wherever I end up, I feel I’ll be better off than just living as a female. Granted, this isn’t for everyone, and many people would rather live as the sex they were born as than transition.

I truly believe I was put on this earth to hold a masculine role, no matter how that role manifests itself and even if it means spending most of my life in transition, I want to get there. I want to be the father that my children will need, the husband to my wife, and just a good Black man in society. Even as I type this, I feel a twinge of sadness that I cannot just be the mother as women need all the help they can get dispelling ridiculous stereotypes. I find myself sort of scared that transsexuality will be found to be a mental disorder and I’ll have more of a stigma placed against me. It’s disheartening to think about, especially when there are blogs dedicated to preaching that people have to accept that they aren’t the person they’re trying to transition to, but that’s a post for another time.

Everyone will not hold this same view as me, but I’ve known for a long time that I just couldn’t fill the female role. I’m up for the challenge, but I wouldn’t feel right. I feel as though I’ll become much more acclimated to the masculine role in society, whatever that means, and I’ll feel much more comfortable with myself. I have learned to love who I am (obesity and all) and am on a journey to change that. One must accept the situations given to them before they can change themselves for the better.

 

Comments? Questions? Comment below

Topic suggestions? Concerns? Need advice? Email me: JCollins1594@gmail.com